I'm guessing you've heard this before, but labor is unpredictable.
During a prenatal visit, our doulas always go over a worksheet with our clients that is titled, "Birth Options and Preferences." We do our best to help these awesome moms achieve the birth they have been thinking about, planning for, and waiting on for so long, but since so much can't be planned ahead of time, we just have to see what hand we are dealt when labor begins. And that is exactly why I think that having a doula is such a wonderful thing! She can help guide you along this unfamiliar, unpredictable path and hopefully help you be thrilled with where it takes you. One such story recently happened here in Knoxville, TN. There was a mama who was planning to deliver at the birth center and had chosen Stephanie as her doula. Unfortunately, when labor called, Stephanie was sick with a stomach bug and in no condition to be with a mama through labor. So this mama got me (not that I'm too shabby of a replacement, but it's just not what this mama had planned!). This woman wanted a water birth, but when it came time to push the pool was not so comfortable and it was difficult for her to really feel what she was doing. The most comfortable position for her was actually sitting on the toilet. Thankfully, she had chosen her provider well and was attended by a kind and supportive midwife who acted like it was no big deal for a mama to push a baby out while sitting on the toilet. So she did! It was really awesome and so powerful to watch this mama go with the flow, use what she had, and bring her baby into the world. I'm so thankful that I got to be part of their beautiful day. Congratulations, Mommy and Daddy! You rocked that delivery and I'm so proud of how you handled everything that labor threw at you. You are so strong and your little girl is so precious. Thank you for letting me be there with you!
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Once upon a time, somewhere around 4 in the morning, my phone starting ringing on the table next to my bed. I fumbled with the cord and the screen to answer--my brain wasn't fully awake yet.
"I'm not sure if this is really it, but something is going on. SOMETHING is definitely happening." I jumped in my car and got to their house while most of the world was still sleeping (or at least most of Knoxville). It was dark outside and the stars were shining. Something was definitely happening. Mama labored and rested and relaxed until the sun peeked over the horizon. As she stood on her back porch swaying and rocking, the day began around her; neighbors were getting in their cars and going to work, while she prepared to meet her baby. Settled at the hospital with wonderful nurses to care for her, her labor continued to progress, though perhaps it was slower than she wanted it to go. But mama was a rockstar and kept on rocking, swaying, and moaning her way to complete. The strength in her pushes moved baby every time and around 1:15 in the afternoon, mama held her baby in her arms. Mama was amazing. She listened to her body, she moved to the rhythm of the contractions, she took one contraction at a time and even when the going got rough and it seemed like the end would never come, she kept going. She rocked that birthing thing! It was truly a beautiful birth. And now somewhere across town, a new family of three is settling in for the night with hugs and kisses and sweet baby's breath. I would wish them sweet dreams, but I'm pretty sure that precious little boy will want to eat around 2 AM. :) Thank you, thank you for letting me be part of the story of your baby's birth day. I loved every minute and think you are an incredible team. Watching you work together to welcome your baby was the best part of my day. Congratulations to you both! And welcome earthside, little man! ~Rebekah So maybe I'm crazy, but things that are "different" interest me. Things that, when mentioned, make people scrunch up their faces and look at you like you're crazy just for knowing it exists. Even crazier, I love researching things. Nerd status, I know. My latest wacky, self-assigned research project is this: Dolphin Midwives. Let that sink in... Picture it in your mind... Dwell on it a bit... Feel free to scrunch up your face and look at me like I'm crazy... Done? Good, let's dive in. First, we dissect the idea: 1) Water birth is not an uncommon idea, and has been around for quite some time. It makes sense, and isn't something I question. 2) I love dolphins. A lot. How could you not? Dolphin therapy is something that, though I have been aware of it, I never put a lot of thought into. I always just put it next to equine therapy in my mind and left it at that. It's a controversial idea (isn't everything?) that hasn't really had any long term success recorded. There is no denying that dolphins make people happy. They are right up there with cuddly puppies, bunny rabbits, and babies. They just make you smile and, in small doses, are remarkably relaxing. Also, dolphins have shown a tendency to be drawn to pregnant women over other humans. No one really knows why, but it's been recorded on several occasions. Now put the two together. Water birth + dolphin therapy. One thing that we know works, and another that is still up in the air, but looking like it'll land in the Pessimistic Ocean. Plus, we have to think about the effects that salt water could have on mom and baby, if any. The possibilities of infection from water that hasn't been treated or from the animal itself. And we must remember that though they do seem to love people, especially pregnant women, dolphins are still, and always will be, wild animals. Dolphin Midwifery is a hard thing to research, when Googling it, I just came across blog after blog of some pretty hardcore hippies. Then I found this article from Seattle Times about gynecologist Dr. Gowri Motha. You may have read her books The Gentle Birthing Method, or The Gentle First Year. In the article she is quoted as follows: "We hope to make these children more in tune with nature, more in tune with the environment and able to communicate with other mammals who are as intelligent as we are." Dr. Gowri Motha said. The intent, she said, is to make birth "a joyous event rather than a technological event." I totally agree with having a goal of making birth being a joyous event. I think it should be, I wouldn't be here otherwise, I'm just not sure if this is the way to go about it. And let's be honest, do you really want your baby coming out speaking dolphin? Research and data haven't proven anything to me that make me say this is the way to go. Is it a cool idea? Absolutely. I would love to be able to tell my future kids that they were born with dolphins, but I think it'd be more worthwhile to take them swimming with the dolphins once they are old enough. (Hint, hint, Mom and Dad) Conclusion: You are absolutely right to scrunch up your face at the idea. It is face scrunching worthy. I do wish the research had proven positive, but I think we would be hearing about it a lot more often if the idea had proven of any worth. It also goes to show that research is good. The trends come and go, but the facts will stand true forever Feel free to watch the video that brought up the idea in the first place: ~ Emily Bull
There is great excitement when meeting a new family and it is awesome beyond words to be present when their baby enters this world. But the BIGGEST reason we work as doulas comes down to what we know (and wish every expectant mother knew) - If an expectant mother has a doula, statistically she will have*:
50% reduction in rate of c-section 25% shorter labor 60% reduction in epidural requests 40% reduction in oxytocin use 30% reduction in analgesia use 40% reduction in forceps delivery Why is this important and what does it mean? It means there is a significantly decreased chance that either mom or baby have complications, they get to go home sooner, the risk of postpartum blues or depression is significantly decreased, and mom feels that she had more control of and is more satisfied with her birth experience. This is important because complications from labor and delivery can have lasting negative effects on mother, baby, and future births. It is also important because women remember and reflect on their birth experiences through their entire lives. This colossal event can cause lasting positive or negative effects. What we want to shout from the rooftops is that "There is a super effective, simple, and proven way to help ensure a better birth experience and labor outcome." It's not magic, or voodoo, or even crunchy alternative thinking. It's a scientifically proven, educated, non-invasive, and time-tested practice that makes sense for every mom in EVERY birth situation. You are not excluded from the benefits of having a doula if you plan a hospital birth over one at home or a birth center. The benefits still apply to you if you are planning an epidural or other narcotic pain relief. If this is your second birth, third birth, fourth birth...you get the idea - the benefits of having a doula still apply to you and your baby! If you are expecting, trying, or even plan to have kids one day in the future, take the time to educate yourself about what a doula is and how having one is the best gift you can give yourself to help you through pregnancy, labor, delivery, and the early days of parenthood. You may say I’m biased, spinning the statistics and reports to favor the practice in which I work. I would be lying if I told you I don’t have a vested interest in more women hiring doulas. We are doulas and more women hiring doulas would logically increase our demand and ultimately our bottom line. But as you delve into the information you will see there are many scientific studies that confirm the benefits of having continuous support from a doula during birth. You will also find that there are some doulas who offer discounted rates while they are in the process of attending their first births in order to be certified by the organization through which they received their training. There are also doulas that provide discounted services for those with spouses in the military, young mothers, or families that lack the financial resources to pay the full rate. Whatever your objections to having a doula, I encourage you to take the time to research the benefits. If you believe the statistics you find, please take the time to interview multiple doulas, find one that best suits your personality and desires, and look for one that is offering discounted fees or free services if necessary. There is no way to guarantee that your birth will go exactly as you imagine, but you can certainly stack the deck in your favor. Think about it, take action, and then tell other moms-to-be so they can benefit from your experience and knowledge. By: Stephanie Roberts (DONA), and Certified Childbirth Educator (ACBE) Graduate Nurse, Birth Doula *Information from "Mothering the Mother: How a Doula Can Help You Have a Shorter Easier and Healthier Birth", Klaus, Kennell, and Klaus About three weeks ago, I had a mama call me and say she might be in labor. Contractions were regluar, lasting about 45 seconds and seemed to be getting stronger. Those contractions continued for several hours--just enough to mess up a good night's sleep--and then disappeared. A few days later, the same thing happened...and again went away after using up most of the night. And so it continued, for three weeks, until this morning when they did not go away, but continued getting stronger, though still a bit irregular.
When I think back on this morning, I have to chuckle a bit. Mama texted me and said she wasn't sure, but she would feel better if I was with her. Baby had teased her so many times, she couldn't tell if it was really going to happen today. (And to be honest, she was so calm through it all, I had a hard time telling, too!) But, I got to her house about 1:30 and within 30 minutes we were back out the door! Mama labored beautifully in and out of the water and around 4:45 she welcomed her beautiful baby boy into the world. It was such a peaceful delivery. Mama was simply amazing and her baby has the cutest, chubbiest cheeks! He is absolutely precious! Congratulations, Mommy, Daddy, big brother and big sister! I am so proud of you all and I am so thankful that you let me be a part of welcoming your little one to our world. ~Rebekah Around 6:30 this morning, I had a mama text me to say she'd just woken up with contractions. They were 2-3 minutes apart and lasting about 30 seconds, but she could still talk through the contractions, hadn't gotten out of bed yet, and wasn't sure if they would stick around. Once she got up and moving, the contractions were 4-5 minutes apart, lasting 45 seconds and getting stronger. We decided it was time to head to the hospital, but we both had to wait for our babysitters to arrive.
At 8:33, as I was pulling into the hospital parking garage, the husband called me to say they were in triage. I said I'd be up there in a few minutes. I went into the hospital, called up to the floor, and the nurse sort of chuckled at me and said, "Yeah, she's delivering." In my head I though, "Well, yes, that is why we are here!" I got up to the floor and they said, "She's down in triage. You can go down there if you want." I walked down the hall, peeked in the door and thought, "I must have the wrong room, there's a baby in the warmer." I checked the room number. It said, "TRIAGE," peeked in again...still a baby in the warmer. Checked the door...Yes, it still says, "TRIAGE." What?!?? Yes, oh yes! Mama had her baby about 4 minutes after walking into triage! Neither the doctor nor the doula were even in the building! But the nurse had an awesome morning and got to catch a baby. :) Mommy and Daddy and baby are doing great. Maybe a bit surprised, but loving being together. Congratulations to all of you and big sister, too! You guys ROCK and you are awesome! What a fun birth story your baby has. Thanks for letting me be there! ~Rebekah On Monday morning the full moon was doing it's thing and making lots of women's labor start. One of those women was saved from a scheduled morning induction because her water broke in the middle of the night. Hopes were high since labor starting on its own meant that she could be at the birth center!
As the day progressed and labor did not, mama made the choice to move to the hospital and get some help to keep things moving. Oh, how the story of this labor would take pages to tell: failed epidurals, painful contractions, lots of pitocin, tired mama, too many hours to count. Honestly, I don't know how she did it. Her mother-in-law kept looking at me and saying, "I can't believe you're still going." and I would say, "I figure if she can keep going, so can I." She was working so, so much harder than I was, and I was beat. But she kept going! Then, at 8:15 p.m., more than 36 hours after her contractions started, she delivered a happy and healthy (surprise!) boy. She is so amazing. She was incredible and strong. I'm not sure how she was able to find the energy to push her baby out! After her baby was born and latched on she was finally able to rest. I hope she had the best nap of her life that day! ~Rebekah I also need to say a HUGE thank you to Stephanie for bringing me food and for bringing some fresh energy. You are the best! Almost every pregnant mom wonders how she will know when labor really starts. Women who have already had a baby or two think, "I've done this before. Surely I will know when it starts." If only baby could send you a text that says, "Ok, mommy, ready or not, here I come!"
In the wee hours of the morning today, a precious new soul joined our world. Mama had been having some contractions all week, but each time they started, it wouldn't be long before they faded away. But last night--last night was different. They didn't stop! She thought "Maybe. MAYBE this is it. Better go in, just in case." Once she was there, it quickly became evident that she was really in labor. She labored BEAUTIFULLY. Calm, relaxed, moaning at the end. She was incredible! Not even three hours after arriving, baby made his way into the world. And he let everyone know that he was NOT HAPPY about being kicked out! Big sister had the honor of cutting his cord and the whole family was over the moon about their little baby. Tonight there is a strong and amazing woman holding her newborn boy and her family is transitioning to a group of five. I hope they know how incredible they are, how thankful I am to have been there, and how happy I am for each one of them. ~Rebekah What an awesome birth!
Early this morning, one waiting mama had her day begin with a big gush of breaking water. Baby had been teasing us for a couple weeks, but there was no denying it this time! Everyone excitedly gathered (again) at the hospital, ready to meet the newest member of their family. Mama walked and rocked and swayed for as long as she was able, but there came a time when she was ready for some relief. Baby, though, had other plans. While waiting for the anesthesiologist, mama was suddenly feeling the need to push with her contractions. In matter of 45 minutes, she had gone from 5 cms to 10 cms! Have I mentioned how much I love surprise babies? Mommy and Daddy made all of their family guess whether baby was a boy or a girl before they were allowed in the room. It was wonderful! Everyone was smiling from ear to ear and baby is as precious as can be. Congratulations, Mommy and Daddy! Thank you so much for letting us be a part of your special day and share in the sweet beginning of your family! ~Rebekah Labor is unpredictable. Sometimes it's much longer than anyone anticipates. Last weekend I was able to be with a mama who's labor kept her up through the night and working all the way into the next afternoon. She was a trooper! She was so calm and focused. She breathed through her contractions and restfully waited for the next. When her moment came, she dug down inside herself to find the strength and energy she needed to deliver her baby. And she did it!
Mommy and Daddy welcomed a beautiful little girl with a head full of hair into our world. Everyone was thrilled! The proud Papa couldn't stop looking at his little girl and Mama was grinning from ear to ear over what she had accomplished. I went to visit with the family tonight. I asked Mama how she felt about the birth. Before she said a word, her face lit up. She smiled that huge smile of hers and said, "It was wonderful!" I know my heart was smiling, too. ~Rebekah |
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